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| Photo by Ingo Joseph from Pexels |
Whenever I complete an article I get tired and lye on the bed for hours. I feel tired and cannot sit again to write without a long break. This break bores me badly. I try to listen to the radio, music or songs, but nothing entertains me. It is a big problem with me.
I lie on the bed for hours without doing anything in solitude or alone. This solitude and boredom give me time to think and boosts my creativity. But, this time of rest and leisure is really hard for me. I lye for hours before sleep takes me over. Sleep is really a big blessing. It is my savior. It saves me from boredom where nothing works.
Why does nothing entertain me? Why the idea of entertainment seems my bullshit? Entertainment seems to be an escape from being. It is a pseudo. It distracts me from my own being. Boredom, emptiness, meaninglessness is my being. Everything else is a myth. (We should in true reality). Therefore, nothing entertains me.
I know the meaninglessness of life. Now, everything seems futile. Songs, music, literature, knowledge, art, culture, etc. everything seems childish. Only children can be happy with these things. Blessed are those who are childish.
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| Photo by Harsch Shivam from Pexels |
Nothing interests me. Everything seems to be a consolation. I do not like anything. I do not believe in consolation. Neither I console anybody nor do I want to be consoled.
I want to live in reality howsoever harsh it is. I want to encounter it. (I do not want to in illusions). Entertainment creates illusions. I know it. Therefore, it does not work at me.
Once you have a glimpse of reality the whole world of illusion is lost and (howsoever much you try), you cannot live in illusion again, provided that you have a single glimpse. World of illusion collapses as a palace of cards, as the dream disappears as soon as you know that it was a dream.
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| Photo by Scott Gummerson on Unsplash |
Entertainment is an escape from reality into illusion. I am surprised how do people enjoy fiction and fictitious stories. They know that it is not true yet enjoy.
Even what is there to enjoy in true stories or events. I am getting bore on the bed, but live sports does not entertain me. (Why should I bother who won champions trophy India or Pakistan?) Bullshit. I do not care about these things.
My boredom is better than any sport or entertainment. Sometimes, I want/try to escape from boredom, but I do not find anything and fall back again in boredom.
There is no escape. I am condemned to live and die in it. Whenever I try to do anything, I know that I am trying to escape from my boredom, immediately trick fails. Unfortunately, our every thought, emotion, and action is an attempt to escape. I am not interested in anything. Nothing interests me. Everything is pseudo.
Only emptiness, boredom, meaninglessness and futility of life are true. Everything else is a lie. Therefore, nothing entertains me. I want to live in boredom and I am happy. We should accept reality howsoever harsh it is. I should not try to avoid boredom and seek entertainment.
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| Photo by David Fagundes from Pexels |
There is nothing wrong with boredom. It is a thousand times better than rubbish things called entertainment. It is a matter of fact that life is meaningless and the world is absurd. Boredom is the greatest truth of human life. We insist on meaning and find none. Failure of our search is the cause of boredom.
Neither we can not stop seeking meaning nor can get. (We should stop seeking and searching meaning, but we fail). Entertainment divides us from this search. (For a time being and duration of time, depends on our intelligence). Smarter you are easier to expose. Then, nothing entertains and boredom becomes a lifelong companion.
