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| Photo by Alexis Fauvet on Unsplash |
Our wills are mysterious kinds of things. Arthur Sopenhour says that we have no control over our wills. Hume says that reason can neither motivate nor influence our will. We think that we have a particular will or desire. Wills or desires are mine, or they belong to me. I create or generate wills and desires. Prima facie, will seem to be arbitrary. It may be that the idea of rational choice is merely an illusion. I am skeptic about this whole thing.
Why do we have any desire? How desires arise? We cannot stop desiring. We have to desire. We are forced. Desires posses us. We get ready to live and die for them. They exploit us. They use it as an instrument for their completion.
I am skeptic about my wills and desires. They are under closer scrutiny. I am not obliged to run after them. I am not their slave. I’ll revolt against them. I’ll question their legitimacy.
I do not girl, but I witness ups and downs within me. I want to know what is happening within me. I enjoy witnessing waves of emotions and feelings one after another. It is interesting. I have felt this inner turmoil a thousand times and now, I am familiar with it. I see it and laugh again.
We cannot pinpoint the origin or cause of our desires. We feel or see them in stronger forms. They come before us all of a sudden. We get satisfaction if they are filled and sadness when they remain unfulfilled. What to do with happiness or satisfaction? What is their utility? Why do we need these things? Absurd.
What will I do with my satisfying desires? How satisfied or desires? How satisfied or unsatisfied desires make a difference? Desires come and go, one after another. Let them come and go. Why care about them? Stay cool.
We desire many things. Even all of our desires cannot be fulfilled. They are contradictory and sometimes logically impossible.
Now I am too much pessimistic. I do not want to fulfill my desire. Even I do not want to be happy. What is there good in happiness or bad in sadness? Why not live an unsatisfied and unhappy life? Although, satisfaction and happiness are not possible. Even if it had been why try to be happy or satisfied?
Why seek sensual pleasure or happiness? Why seek anything at all? I can have sensual pleasure. I can be a little bit comfortable. But, there is no reason.
Now, it does not make any sense to me whether my desires are fulfilled or frustrated. First of all, I do not want to have any desire and secondly, if there is any, I do not want to fulfill them. I want to remain unsatisfied and unhappy. I do not want to waste my time on these things. A life lived in luxury is not different from a life lived in misery. The satisfaction of desires does not give us anything. It merely entertains us. Why not watch TV or play video games? If it is merely entertainment.
Now, everything seems absurd. My desires will remain absurd even if get them satisfied. This world will not be a better place for me even if I become omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent. I do not think my condition will be better if I can control everything. People do what I want. They obey and respect me. They praise and salute. There is no problem in my life. I have everything at will. Bullshit.
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| Photo by Franck V. on Unsplash |
